One of my lifelong friends also puts the Suboxone in his eyeball. The last time he came home from prison he was nice enough to teach me this technique . We have been doing cocaine together since the age of 14, but as far as opiates go I was only popping perks, the real ones 5,10s ,then graduated to Blues thinking they were just Roxy 30s , but by the time everyone realized they were all Fentanyl ….shout out J . It was too late. When your paying $15-$30 a pill it’s an easy transition to get 8 caps for $20. We starting using the same time . I remember sitting across from each other taking turns snorting the dope just incase one of us fell out. We both have been in and out of institutions since we were kids ,my father did 11 years, and my uncle is currently serving a life sentence . All in the state of Ohio , so if J has any questions comments or concerns I’m your guy. While in prison ,That same friend ran out of room for tattoos everywhere , everywhere accept his dick ……but no worry’s ,for one 12 mlg Suboxone strip he was able coax the resident tattoo artist to wrap his flaccid penis around a water bottle and tattoo the initials of his ex gf who started fucking another one of our buddys while he was in there. Anyways the methadone clinic opens in 23 minutes , got to run , keep up the good work and fucking toodles for Chris.
I am “sober-sober”(since November 4, 2019) and have never attended any fellowship meetings or been through any program/steps.
I listen to Dopey, It’s All Bad, and Recovery in the Middle Ages every day during the early morning part of my work shift (4:30-7am) and always hear some message or piece of someone’s story that sticks out to me for reflection throughout the day. The feeling of compassion and shared humanity I get from these podcasts continue to be invaluable to staying sober and getting right with myself.
I do all the things that Jay mentioned: walk in nature (also hike/snowshoe for more of a physical challenge), roller skating (so funny he mentioned that one! I just started a year ago; mostly skate park type skating, but love to go to the roller rink with my daughters when I can), hitting the gym. Other similar things in my life are playing tennis, reading books, writing notes to myself when I get those “a-ha” moments, playing board games with my kids, practicing guitar. Prioritizing one of these every day is important. Too many days in a row without one of these happening gets me into some dark and unpleasant mental and physical spaces.
I do meditate for super short 5 minute periods twice a day, but wish I could get the space and create time in my life for a full hour like Mayra Dias Gomes! I also use that tool in the midst of hard moments; like something or someone is triggering my descent into character defects or old habits of mind and I remind myself that all I have to do is breathe. Usually that can open some space to look outside of myself and how I’m feeling and I can get a little shift going, at least to know I will be able to just let the moment pass. Or I use that opportunity to pause and drink some water. Sometimes those are the moments when the thing I heard someone share in the podcast earlier comes in handy as a re-focusing or tool for understanding.
I guess for me it’s two things: keeping it moving with positive habits and untying the knots of trauma/addiction/unhealthy behavior with reflection and compassion.
And then it’s just time. The more time I live past the last time I used drugs and alcohol, the more feeling of choice I have to not do that again.
So my message to Jay is, keep going. It sounds like you know what your things are and who you can trust to be real and supportive. Practice being real with yourself, staying with it when it’s uncomfortable. It’s like a muscle that gets stronger the more you exercise it. It’s not easy. But there’s a bunch of other humans out here who are working on it too.
Hey, My name is Celia and I have 3.5 years clean. I am from Las Vegas and I’ve lived here all my life so you can only imagine what my using days were like. I am a recovering heroin addict who was loyal to the foil until my last relapse in 2019 when I switched it up to points and added some meth in there. I knew deep down that that run was my last so I went balls to the wall and had the mentality of “I’ll quit and go to rehab when they catch me.”“They” being the cops. My boyfriend and I lived in a stolen 2016 mustang GT that was bright red for about 4 months but when I tell you this vehicle chose us I mean it. We found the key fob next to the avocados at a sprouts that we were scoping out for opportunities. Some opportunities we came up on were like filling carts up with merchandise and rolling out the front door. We weren’t so covert after a while. We had a long list of customers we boosted for and we didn’t hit the same store too often. We ran from the cops 4 times during this summer with the 4th ending in the ghetto bird flying above, 20 or so bike cops and me finding out that I had been reported missing by my parents a month earlier. I was so tired by this point because being essentially homeless in the summer in Las Vegas is realllllly hard disgusting work and being a drug addict is even worse so I was eager to surrender. I even stayed in jail for a while before calling my parents and even then I didn’t ask for them to bail me out. When I got out I had to sleep in my parents bed with my mom and my dad slept on the couch by the door to make sure I didn’t disappear because I had 3 whole days before a bed was available in rehab. Obviously I made it and I actually enjoyed rehab so much I didn’t want to leave. I fucking love listening to Dopey everyday at my big girl job because it reminds me of where I came from and I’m not alone all while cracking up at all the dopey stories and commentary. I have to stay undercover about being an addict in recovery at work at the request of my boss when he hired me so thanks for keeping it 100 Dave and fuckin toodles for Chris!! Xox
I’m a wife and mother and had a deep love of opiates over everything else which began after having a family. Trying to keep up and do everything I didn’t want to do happily or have the energy to do willingly. I remember thinking the common addict thought “how do people do life without opiates” its like sliding into a warm bath. I had no clue how common it is to even have that thought until Dopey. It made sense that I loved Tim’s story so much bc when I listened to the Brandon Novak episode I was in a fucking dark place and just discovered Dopey. Go figure they are friends! At that time I was figuring out which road to follow addiction or sobriety.. I was losing everything my marriage, my house, and almost my child. I was so close to saying fuck it, ive already destroyed my life, i can’t afford a nice rehab- fuck i can’t even afford my bills. I’ll just run away and continue not facing life. I sure as shit didnt want to face withdrawal when my life was together how the hell can I manage it when everything is falling apart. So I almost reached out to Novak regarding rehab, but walked myself into a maintenance program instead. It was harder to ask for help than I thought it would be, I cried the entire intake. They were so kind it made me cry harder. Methadone helped me immensely, I even stumbled upon the Maia Szalavitz episode my first week into the mat program, I couldn’t adore her more. I could immediately function most of the day and had minor withdrawal at night.. it wasn’t perfect but it saved my life for sure, it’s not an if but when fentanyl will get you.. that’s not even my drug of choice just what I could afford and find.
I’m Zach from California I’ve been clean and sober a little over 18 months from fentanyl/meth and just about anything else that was offered to me. I was about two months into my recovery when I found dopey while searching for any and all recovery/addiction podcast. Dopey was the only one that stuck and I was hooked. I did the 90 meetings in 90 days I tried NA/AA and I can’t say it was a complete waste of time but the dopey podcast has by far been one of biggest keys to recovery along with exercise, meditation, and therapy. I think some of the reason I didn’t want to stop is in some sick way I liked the chaos of being an addict. The way I describe it to people is “everyday in active addiction is like your best day ever and worst day ever in the same 24 hours” it was a rollercoaster and anytime I think that I miss it dopey gets me thinking about how miserable i was and gives me a chance to laugh at all the shit that normies wouldnt think is funny. So I just want to say thank you and I’m glad you’ve never stopped pumping out episodes because it everyone means something to me and I know it does for a lot of fellow degenerates. Congratulations on #400! SSDN and FTFC
P.S. I’m trying to think of dopey stories as I write this and one of the funniest/weirdest stories I can think of is when my buddy from high school who’s mom was paralyzed from the neck down always had a ton of pills so naturally he would steal them from her to take. One day we decided we were going to try mixing DXM (the cough syrup shit) with the Valium that he had stolen the day prior because his dad was onto us and had hid the oxy and the rest of the Valium. So we proceeded to each drink a bottle of DXM and take a few Valium(I don’t remember exactly how many) for the next 16 hrs laid in one room feeling the carpet and scribbling on paper with any ink pen I found until it would run out of ink but the weirdest part is I went to check in my friend in the other room and he was completely naked watching porn on a 6foot projector masturbating eating popcorn and when I saw him he said “can’t a guy get some privacy in his own home” so I went back to feeling the carpet and coloring or whatever you would call it in the other room. So who knows how long he was masturbating in there for because he didn’t come out of that room for several hours. Don’t do drugs!
P.S.S. This was probably 12-14 years ago this guy is now in jail for attempting to murder his meth dealer.